Theresa: Welcome back to Living the Good Life, where we talk about real travel for real bodies. The kind of trips you can actually take, not the ones that you used to be able to take. I’m Teresa. Today we’re talking about how real change happens in the brain, not through force, not through intensity, not through try harder, but through gentle, meaningful challenge. Inside the brain, there’s a chemical called acetylcholine. Think of it as your brain’s spotlight operator. When something is new, interesting, or requires your attention, acetylcholine turns the spotlight on and says, hey, this matters. Let’s strengthen it. For example, if something is too easy, something you can do on autopilot, your brain doesn’t bother requiring anything it thinks. Oh, we already know how to do this. So let’s make this real with an example. People often say, I do Wyrtle every day. Isn’t that good for my brain? And the answer is, it’s fun, but it doesn’t create any new connections. So acetylcholine barely moves. No spotlight, no rewiring. And my guess is, it makes fewer connections if you learn a second romance language. What do you think? As opposed to a Germanic language. Robert: I guess the grammar is different. Like German, the joke is they always wait for the end of the sentence. Theresa: Right. We should do that for this podcast. Make you wait. Robert: And yeah, I hear people say learning Greek is very difficult, where they say learning Spanish is a lot easier, but when you start becoming really fluent in Spanish, it’s still pretty, pretty challenging, I think. Theresa: And I think other languages, like some of the Asian languages or Chinese, which is, I believe, called a tonal language, where, you know, high, high pitch. I know they use the example ma, like there’s several different ways to pronounce ma, and it totally changes the meaning. But anyway, I was just wondering about that. I don’t know. So, back to language. Your brain can’t solve, learn, you know, a problem, the problem of learning a new language with its old circuitry. Acetylcholine spikes, the spotlight turns on, and your brain says, this is unfamiliar. I, I need to build some new circuits. Robert: Between entertainment and transformation. Theresa: Although I do think there’s something good about trying to solve Wordo, even though you know how to play that, or do crossword puzzles, or things like that, at least keeps your mind active. Robert: Yeah, I like Wordo. Theresa: I do too. So, language learning is one example of a neuron builder, as we just said, but there are many other neuron builders, activities that reliably activate acetylcholine and support real change, and they’re different for every person. Robert: Here are a few. Learning a new motor skill, such as knitting, tai chi, watercolor, typing with a new layout, learning a new sensory skill, photography, cooking with new spices, music training. Theresa: Oh, and you know all about the music training, right? Robert: I suffered through that long, long ago. Learning a new cognitive skill, a new software tool, a new route, a new planning method, learning a new relational skill, asking for help, setting boundaries, practicing micro-connection. Theresa: And, as I said, for some people, some of these are easy. For others of us, I mean, knitting, I remember when our first son was born, or before, I decided I would make a little afghan for him that was knitted, and it was just simple squares. Well, I had rectangles, squares, parallelograms, nothing was the same size, nothing the same shape, and, you know, but I watched people knit, and they make it look like it’s the easiest thing ever. The common thread, though, with all these, they do require new maps, new patterns, and new attention. They wake up the spotlight. Robert: And they’re all things you can do gently inside your wheel. Theresa: This is where gentle challenge becomes essential. It’s the level where your brain says, this is new enough to matter, but safe. And safe is key. It’s safe enough that I can stay open to it. Robert: Especially if you’re living in a changed body. Pain, fatigue, injury, disability, chronic illness, trauma, aging. Your nervous system is more sensitive to threat. You can’t push through. You can’t just try harder. Theresa: And speaking of aging, I think, I know as I’ve gotten older, even not mentioning the vision loss, I have a stronger sense of self-preservation. I become a chicken in many ways. I don’t take so many risks, especially with the vision loss, but I’m a chicken now. Which is totally different from what I was. I didn’t really consider that in the past. So, you can still change. And your brain is still capable of learning. It just needs a different kind of input. Robert: So, let’s talk about the Goldilocks zone. The level of challenge that’s just right. Theresa: The Goldilocks zone is where the spotlight stays on. It’s where acetylcholine says, strengthen this. It’s where your brain can actually learn. Robert: Let’s make this real with an example. Imagine someone recovering from spinal surgery. Too easy. Standing up once an hour, no spotlight. Too hard. Walking a mile, stress chemistry shuts everything down. The Goldilocks zone. Walking to the end of the driveway once a day. New, doable, safe, repeatable. Theresa: And when they repeat that small walk with tiny variations, their brain starts to rewire. It’s not because they pushed harder, but because they stayed in the zone where learning is possible. Robert: Let’s introduce the micro adaptation menu. Gentle starting points tailored to different kinds of disruptions. Theresa: Here are a few examples. Robert: The Goldilocks zone for mobility disruptions. Walk to the mailbox or the next room. Variation. Change the time or add one slow breath. Theresa: Fatigue based conditions. One three minute upright activity. A variation to this is add rest before and after. And if you have balance issues, the Goldilocks zone for you is to stand for 10 seconds with light support. A variation on that is to shift weight or turn your head slightly. Robert: Cognitive fog. Goldilocks zone. Read one paragraph or analyze one item. Variation. Change the time of day. Theresa: And for anxiety or trauma responses, think about doing for the getting in the Goldilocks zone, a 30 second presence exercise. And a variation of that could be adding grounding or increasing the duration by 10 seconds. Robert: Strength or deconditioning. The Goldilocks zone could be one sit to stand or lift a soup can five times. Variation could be add one repetition. Theresa: And again, I want to note, we are not professional medical people. We’re not occupational therapists, physical therapists. We are podcasters. So before you do anything, be sure to consult with a medical professional to be sure these work for you. So here’s the part that ties everything together. Your final objective is to change to autopilot. Robert: Not because autopilot is lazy, but because autopilot is efficient. It’s the brain’s way of saying, we’ve built this pathway. We can carry it on for you now. Theresa: Exactly. Acetylcholine helps you learn the new pattern. Gentle challenge keeps the spotlight on and keeps you from getting frustrated or injured. Repetition with variation strengthens the pathway. Eventually the behavior becomes automatic. Robert: Sustainable change. That’s nervous system friendly change. That’s change that doesn’t require willpower or perfection. Theresa: And some of it maybe requires a little bit of willpower. I mean, if practice does make perfect or good enough, as Voltaire would say. So as you move through the workbook, and we’re going to go over that in a few minutes, keep asking yourself, is this new enough to matter and safe enough to repeat? If your answer is yes, you’re in the Godelak zone. Robert: That’s where your brain does its best work. We’ll walk with you through every step of it. Theresa: So let’s talk about the workbook now. The workbook guides you and other people who are living in bodies that have changed later in life through illness, injury, chronic pain, disability, or even aging. And it helps you rebuild a life that fits your current reality. It rejects toxic positivity. And one reason for that is that would make me think nothing is worth doing. And since I’m the author of the book, I can reject toxic positivity. It instead offers grounded, compassionate, and sustainable practices. So the tone and philosophy is it’s honest. It’s non-performative. None of that, oh, just be grateful and our God only gives these burdens to people. Who can bear them? Or any of that other kind of inexcusable messaging. And it’s written by someone who has lived through enough of these changes. I can say that at one point I couldn’t walk. I still have digestive issues that control my life. And with the low vision, just seeing where those pills are that my life is based on is a bit of a challenge sometimes. The book also focuses on neuroplasticity, emotional regulation, and small doable shifts. It encourages curiosity instead of pressure. It honors grief. And honesty is important. Anybody who doesn’t grieve about having these changes maybe should seek some other kind of help too. But it honors your grief, understands your capacity, and validates the truth of the lived experience. Robert: The book is based on 70 days. And if you remember from some of our previous podcasts, the 70 days is based in science. Some people said 66 days. 70 days is a nice round number. The days are arranged in groups. The first days, 1 through 14, is noticing what’s true now. The focus is understanding what has changed, naming losses without judgment, identifying current capacity, beginning gentle daily reflection. And the tools you’re going to use are the microjournaling, body awareness check-ins, and what’s possible today prompts. Theresa: Then onward to days 15 to 28, you can start rebuilding internal safety. The focus there is grounding your nervous system, reducing overwhelm, creating emotional steadiness, and learning to pause without quitting. The tools you can use are breath-based resets, a five-minute return to center practices, and other prompts that build internal reassurance. Robert: These 29 to 42 are reimagining your identity. The focus is who you are now versus who you were. Untangling identity from productivity, reclaiming agency, pouring new self-definitions. And the tool for this, identity mapping, good statements, and values-based reflection. Theresa: As you progress on to days 43 to 46, and good for you for sticking with it, is rebuilding a life that fits. The focus there is designing routines that match your real capacity, and that is easier said than done. Re-entering life gently. Robert gets frustrated with me when I tried to lead the way or do what I used to do when I often traveled solo. It’s one of those autopilot things, and I guess one thing is you need to turn some things off about autopilot, because now they can be dangerous. Other things you can do is testing small experiments, and that’s really good if you’re going on a longer trip. And I think we mentioned in an earlier podcast, you know, try do a day trip somewhere. See how that works. See how you can navigate the area you are in. Take notes of what didn’t work so well, so you know for your longer trip what you need to change. And then you can replace the all-or-nothing thinking with one doable step, which I know for us that has been taking a rest and just saying we’ve done enough for the day. Because the more tired we get, the more likely we are to injure ourselves. So the tools for that would be habit scaffolding, energy-based planning that’s extremely important. Don’t wear yourself out. Later, we’ll talk about the spoon theory. And then weekly micro experiments. Robert: You’ll be using tools of future pacing, and swavel plans, and closing reflections. Theresa: And remember, weables wobble, but they never fall down. So what you should gain from going through the workbook, and we hope you gain this, it’s a compassionate companion through a difficult transition. It’s also a realistic sustainable way to rebuild your life after your body’s changed. This daily structure is one that doesn’t overwhelm. It gives you a sense of possibility rooted in truth and not pressure. And it’s a new relationship with your body, identity, and future. So we have some show notes, again, that gives you some other prompts that you might want to consider. Other short exercises. There is, of course, a link to the workbook. We’d love to know your thoughts. And we will see you again next week. Thanks for listening to The Good Life.